Benditt (Last Name): Difference between revisions

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'''Benditt''' is a surname passed down by a cursed bloodline originating from Eastern Europe, possibly from Bromberg (modern-day Bydgoszcz, Poland), or straight from Hell depending on who you ask. Historically tied to Jewish-German roots, the name has since become synonymous with emotional damage, rage, and terminal online behavior.

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* '''Max Benditt'''<ref>https://www.geni.com/people/Max-Benditt-twin/6000000089408084866</ref> (1861-1926) – Allegedly Jewish patriarch from Bromberg. Escaped pogroms, only to have his descendants start generational trauma speedruns.

* '''Felix Frank Benditt''' (1899–1956) – Probably a factory worker who had no idea his great-grandkid would have a fart fetish on Twitter.

* '''Francis Joseph Benditt Sr.'''<ref>https://www.cavanaghfuneralhome.com/obituaries/Francis-J-Benditt?obId=25166095</ref> (1924–2011) – Boeing employee, enjoyed fishing and watching the Eagles lose. Died before things got weird.

* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt Sr]].'''<ref>https://www.cavanaghfuneralhome.com/obituaries/Francis-J-Benditt?obId=25166095</ref> (1924–2011) – Boeing employee, enjoyed fishing and watching the Eagles lose. Died before things got weird.

* '''Francis Joseph Benditt Jr.'''<ref>https://www.psucollegian.com/archives/two-men-from-yuppie-cocaine-ring-sentenced/article_6f34523f-8ae9-5123-acde-9ca27caf4d60.html</ref> <ref>https://www.psucollegian.com/archives/yuppie-cocaine-ring-broken/article_032a3c4e-325a-5169-b7fe-d4382f8bfefc.html</ref> (1949– ) – was charged with distributing cocaine as part of that big yuppie ring. He was selling it, part of a multi-million dollar operation moving pure coke around the Northeast.

* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt Jr]].'''<ref>https://www.psucollegian.com/archives/two-men-from-yuppie-cocaine-ring-sentenced/article_6f34523f-8ae9-5123-acde-9ca27caf4d60.html</ref> <ref>https://www.psucollegian.com/archives/yuppie-cocaine-ring-broken/article_032a3c4e-325a-5169-b7fe-d4382f8bfefc.html</ref> (1949– ) – was charged with distributing cocaine as part of that big yuppie ring. He was selling it, part of a multi-million dollar operation moving pure coke around the Northeast.

* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt III]]'''<ref>https://x.com/FrankJBenditt</ref> – Gave up parenting to become a midlife edgelord and suburban stabber. Pro tip: if your dad’s over 70, don’t start a knife fight.

* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt III]]'''<ref>https://x.com/FrankJBenditt</ref>(1972–) – Gave up parenting to become a midlife edgelord and suburban stabber. Pro tip: if your dad’s over 70, don’t start a knife fight.

* '''Francis Joseph Benditt IV''' ~~aka~~ '''[[~~Fallenchungus~~]]'''

* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt IV]]''' (2006–Hopefully soon) – Fart fetishist pedophile xitter artist. Needs no introduction.

= Other relatives =

FBJ sr.'s sister:

* '''Dorothy Mary Benditt''' (1933-2006)

FBJ jr.'s sisters:

* '''Theresa Benditt'''

* '''Jane Elizabeth Benditt''' (1953-)

== Cousins and Extended Kin ==

The Benditt bloodline, like a poorly maintained plumbing system, branches off in strange and unpredictable directions.

*'''[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_P._Benditt Earl P. Benditt]''' (1916–1996) – A respected American pathologist who was the real deal in the world of vascular biology. Earl discovered the “Benditt Cell,”.

[[File:EarlP.jpg|thumb|The Benditt famliy tree]]

Relation to Francis IV: '''2nd cousin, three times removed'''

* '''Zamien Benditt-Parkes''' (1996–2014)

Local genius, athlete, and musician. Went missing, found dead in the woods. RIP. one of the unfortunate Benditt's.<ref>https://981thehawk.com/vanished-what-happened-to-17-year-old-zamien-benditt-parkes/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral</ref><ref>https://eu.pressconnects.com/story/news/local/pennsylvania/2014/08/30/found-body-missing-teen/14874483/</ref><ref>https://www.sheldonfuneralhomes.com/obituary/2666556</ref>

Relation to Francis IV: '''4th Cousin 1 time removed'''.

*'''Thomas Benditt''' (b. 1958)

Amateur jailer, professional disappointment. In 1993, Thomas was arrested for locking his elderly father—retired Boeing machinist John Benditt—in a sweltering Florida bedroom with a piss bucket and half a bottle of water.

Charged with elder neglect, exploitation, and literally caging a person. Janice Pellitier, a paid “caretaker,” was also arrested. John was found alive but nervous, shaking, and relocated to a nursing home.

Widely considered a [[Francis Joseph Benditt III]] copycat, given that FJB III infamously stabbed both his parents in a drug-fueled dispute.

Seriously—what is it with the Benditts and stabbing or hurting their own relatives??

Relation to Francis IV: '''3rd cousin, twice removed'''.<ref>https://www.tampabay.com/archive/1993/08/15/man-charged-with-caging-his-father/</ref>

*'''Aaron Lewis Benditt'''<ref>https://kehilalinks.jewishgen.org/Colonies_of_Ukraine/20200218Komesaroff-Komisaruk family.pdf</ref> (1973-) –

A Canadian/Austrian branch of the Benditt family produced Aaron, who briefly gained notoriety after several legal issues involving "disciplinary research" and "non-consensual mentorship." Once a self-described “gamified behavioral consultant,” Aaron's career came to an abrupt halt following multiple convictions related to inappropriate contact with minors<ref>https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/no- punishment-after-apparent-hazing-ritual-at-ryerson-1.1313558</ref><ref>https://corpun.com/cai00110.htm</ref><ref>https://theeyeopener.com/2001/03/rye-spanker-back-in-court/</ref><ref>https://corpun.com/cai00110.htm</ref><ref>https://theeyeopener.com/2001/11/rye-spanker-goes-to-prison/</ref>.

"Without warning, he would pull his victims over his knee and spank them," Crown attorney Suhail Akhtar said.<ref>https://nospank.net/n-i92.htm</ref>

Aaron legally changed his name to '''Aaron Lewis''' in 2015<ref>https://www.gov.mb.ca/asset_library/en/queensprinter/gazette/2015/43-10-24-2015.pdf</ref> “for professional clarity.” His media nickname, “The Ryerson Spanker,” remains archived in several Toronto tabloids.

Relation to Francis IV: '''Not known as for now, Aaron descends from Austrian Benditt's, not Polish'''.

== Possible Relation to Daniel Cohn-Bendit ==

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== Notable Quotes ==

* '''“Let’s see who they’re going to believe now.”''' – '''Francis J. Benditt III''', after stabbing his boomer parents like it was a family-friendly episode of Dexter.

* '''"I'm like the dog whisperer for blacks."''' - '''Francis J. Benditt IV''', talking to the devs he did not pay.

* '''"WHY DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER!!!"''' - '''Francis J. Benditt IV''', delivering his best quote ever.

==See also==

* [[Francis Joseph Benditt Sr]]

* [[Francis Joseph Benditt IV]]

* [[Evidence]]

* [[Francis Joseph Benditt Jr]]

* [[Francis Joseph Benditt III]]

== References ==

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-| rowspan="2" | {{{image|[[File:Fat.jpeg|100px]]}}}
-!{{{notice| '''''Chungus’d?'''''
-If you are Francis or one of his loyal fans, please [[click here]]}}}
-|}
 '''Benditt''' is a surname passed down by a cursed bloodline originating from Eastern Europe, possibly from Bromberg (modern-day Bydgoszcz, Poland), or straight from Hell depending on who you ask. Historically tied to Jewish-German roots, the name has since become synonymous with emotional damage, rage, and terminal online behavior.
@@ Line 18: / Line 12: @@
 * '''Max Benditt'''<ref>https://www.geni.com/people/Max-Benditt-twin/6000000089408084866</ref> (1861-1926) – Allegedly Jewish patriarch from Bromberg. Escaped pogroms, only to have his descendants start generational trauma speedruns.
 * '''Felix Frank Benditt''' (1899–1956) – Probably a factory worker who had no idea his great-grandkid would have a fart fetish on Twitter.
-* '''Francis Joseph Benditt Sr.'''<ref>https://www.cavanaghfuneralhome.com/obituaries/Francis-J-Benditt?obId=25166095</ref> (1924–2011) – Boeing employee, enjoyed fishing and watching the Eagles lose. Died before things got weird.
+* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt Sr]].'''<ref>https://www.cavanaghfuneralhome.com/obituaries/Francis-J-Benditt?obId=25166095</ref> (1924–2011) – Boeing employee, enjoyed fishing and watching the Eagles lose. Died before things got weird.
-* '''Francis Joseph Benditt Jr.'''<ref>https://www.psucollegian.com/archives/two-men-from-yuppie-cocaine-ring-sentenced/article_6f34523f-8ae9-5123-acde-9ca27caf4d60.html</ref> <ref>https://www.psucollegian.com/archives/yuppie-cocaine-ring-broken/article_032a3c4e-325a-5169-b7fe-d4382f8bfefc.html</ref> (1949– ) – was charged with distributing cocaine as part of that big yuppie ring. He was selling it, part of a multi-million dollar operation moving pure coke around the Northeast.
+* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt Jr]].'''<ref>https://www.psucollegian.com/archives/two-men-from-yuppie-cocaine-ring-sentenced/article_6f34523f-8ae9-5123-acde-9ca27caf4d60.html</ref> <ref>https://www.psucollegian.com/archives/yuppie-cocaine-ring-broken/article_032a3c4e-325a-5169-b7fe-d4382f8bfefc.html</ref> (1949– ) – was charged with distributing cocaine as part of that big yuppie ring. He was selling it, part of a multi-million dollar operation moving pure coke around the Northeast.
-* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt III]]'''<ref>https://x.com/FrankJBenditt</ref> – Gave up parenting to become a midlife edgelord and suburban stabber. Pro tip: if your dad’s over 70, don’t start a knife fight.
+* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt III]]'''<ref>https://x.com/FrankJBenditt</ref>(1972–) – Gave up parenting to become a midlife edgelord and suburban stabber. Pro tip: if your dad’s over 70, don’t start a knife fight.
-* '''Francis Joseph Benditt IV''' aka '''[[Fallenchungus]]'''
+* '''[[Francis Joseph Benditt IV]]''' (2006–Hopefully soon) – Fart fetishist pedophile xitter artist. Needs no introduction.
+= Other relatives =
+FBJ sr.'s sister:
+* '''Dorothy Mary Benditt''' (1933-2006)
+FBJ jr.'s sisters:
+* '''Theresa Benditt'''
+* '''Jane Elizabeth Benditt''' (1953-)
+== Cousins and Extended Kin ==
+The Benditt bloodline, like a poorly maintained plumbing system, branches off in strange and unpredictable directions.
+*'''[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_P._Benditt Earl P. Benditt]''' (1916–1996) – A respected American pathologist who was the real deal in the world of vascular biology. Earl discovered the “Benditt Cell,”.
+[[File:EarlP.jpg|thumb|The Benditt famliy tree]]
+Relation to Francis IV: '''2nd cousin, three times removed'''
+* '''Zamien Benditt-Parkes''' (1996–2014)
+Local genius, athlete, and musician. Went missing, found dead in the woods. RIP. one of the unfortunate Benditt's.<ref>https://981thehawk.com/vanished-what-happened-to-17-year-old-zamien-benditt-parkes/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral</ref><ref>https://eu.pressconnects.com/story/news/local/pennsylvania/2014/08/30/found-body-missing-teen/14874483/</ref><ref>https://www.sheldonfuneralhomes.com/obituary/2666556</ref>
+Relation to Francis IV: '''4th Cousin 1 time removed'''.
+*'''Thomas Benditt''' (b. 1958)
+Amateur jailer, professional disappointment. In 1993, Thomas was arrested for locking his elderly father—retired Boeing machinist John Benditt—in a sweltering Florida bedroom with a piss bucket and half a bottle of water.
+Charged with elder neglect, exploitation, and literally caging a person. Janice Pellitier, a paid “caretaker,” was also arrested. John was found alive but nervous, shaking, and relocated to a nursing home.
+Widely considered a [[Francis Joseph Benditt III]] copycat, given that FJB III infamously stabbed both his parents in a drug-fueled dispute.
+Seriously—what is it with the Benditts and stabbing or hurting their own relatives??
+Relation to Francis IV: '''3rd cousin, twice removed'''.<ref>https://www.tampabay.com/archive/1993/08/15/man-charged-with-caging-his-father/</ref>
+*'''Aaron Lewis Benditt'''<ref>https://kehilalinks.jewishgen.org/Colonies_of_Ukraine/20200218Komesaroff-Komisaruk family.pdf</ref> (1973-) –
+A Canadian/Austrian branch of the Benditt family produced Aaron, who briefly gained notoriety after several legal issues involving "disciplinary research" and "non-consensual mentorship." Once a self-described “gamified behavioral consultant,” Aaron's career came to an abrupt halt following multiple convictions related to inappropriate contact with minors<ref>https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/no- punishment-after-apparent-hazing-ritual-at-ryerson-1.1313558</ref><ref>https://corpun.com/cai00110.htm</ref><ref>https://theeyeopener.com/2001/03/rye-spanker-back-in-court/</ref><ref>https://corpun.com/cai00110.htm</ref><ref>https://theeyeopener.com/2001/11/rye-spanker-goes-to-prison/</ref>.
+"Without warning, he would pull his victims over his knee and spank them," Crown attorney Suhail Akhtar said.<ref>https://nospank.net/n-i92.htm</ref>
+Aaron legally changed his name to '''Aaron Lewis''' in 2015<ref>https://www.gov.mb.ca/asset_library/en/queensprinter/gazette/2015/43-10-24-2015.pdf</ref> “for professional clarity.” His media nickname, “The Ryerson Spanker,” remains archived in several Toronto tabloids.
+Relation to Francis IV: '''Not known as for now, Aaron descends from Austrian Benditt's, not Polish'''.
 == Possible Relation to Daniel Cohn-Bendit ==
@@ Line 31: / Line 67: @@
 == Notable Quotes ==
 * '''“Let’s see who they’re going to believe now.”''' – '''Francis J. Benditt III''', after stabbing his boomer parents like it was a family-friendly episode of Dexter.
+* '''"I'm like the dog whisperer for blacks."''' - '''Francis J. Benditt IV''', talking to the devs he did not pay.
+* '''"WHY DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER!!!"''' - '''Francis J. Benditt IV''', delivering his best quote ever.
+==See also==
+* [[Francis Joseph Benditt Sr]]
+* [[Francis Joseph Benditt IV]]
+* [[Evidence]]
+* [[Francis Joseph Benditt Jr]]
+* [[Francis Joseph Benditt III]]
 == References ==
 <references />